Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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