So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
