I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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