I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I need water and some morals
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
