Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
