He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Let's get the cat blown out
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
