Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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