i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
