I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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