He had one of those small greek statue penises
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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