I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
