M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
