If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
soo... how was my night?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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