What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
