i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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