You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
