I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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