dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
