But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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