he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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