why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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