I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
