What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
