So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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