Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
