Bisexual people are plain selfish.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Randomize
