You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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