he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize