she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
