Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize