Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
