i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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