belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I deserve this hangover.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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