I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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