He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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