Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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