Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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