he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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