Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
