so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
