"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
