there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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