We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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