I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
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You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
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The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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