Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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