I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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