Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
