peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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