oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
