Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Randomize
