I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Sorry my hands just texted you
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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