Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
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Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
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Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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