i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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