My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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