I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
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I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize