Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize