I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
