do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We need a shit load of segways right now
Randomize
