like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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