Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
well you can't waste a boner
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
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