i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm both gender and math confused
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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